What Customers Say vs. What They Do
Why stated preferences mislead and how to find the real signals.
Hello friends! Before we begin, I need your help.
I want to start focusing content tightly around guides and insights you can instantly use to better measure brand performance. Think of it as “made to order” content based on what you’re going through day to day.
To do that, I need to know where you need the most help. I’m running a quick pulse survey to understand how founders and marketers are tracking brand awareness today (or if you’re tracking it at all).
It’s 6 questions, takes less than 2 minutes, and I’ll share the results back so you can benchmark yourself against peers.
👉 Take the survey here
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There’s a problem with surveys and self-reports. If you ask customers what they want, they’ll give you an answer, but people are bad at predicting their own behavior.
They’ll say they want more features. Then they churn because the product feels too complicated. They’ll say they want cheaper pricing. Then they buy the premium tier because it feels safer. They’ll say they care about sustainability. Then they choose convenience at checkout. Dios mio.. dame paciencia!
It’s not that people are lying. It’s that the conscious story they tell doesn’t always match the subconscious forces driving their decisions.
Why There’s a Gap
Neuroscience shows that emotional words and identity-linked cues trigger stronger neural engagement than generic claims. Specifically, the medial prefrontal cortex (mPFC) lights up when people process words or messages tied to themselves, and this self-relevance effect boosts both emotional processing and memory encoding. In other words: what feels relevant to people shapes behavior more than what they say is relevant.
This is why vanity metrics, surveys, and focus groups can be misleading if they’re your only input. They reflect intent, not action.
How to Get to the Truth
Watch behavior, not just words. Look at what people click, share, return to, and abandon. Actions tell you more than stated preferences.
Layer qual + quant. Customer interviews are great for context. But they need to be paired with analytics, retention data, and funnel analysis to spot the gaps between what people say and what they do.
Use self-referential cues in messaging. Mirror back identities, motivations, and fears in your language. If the message feels true to them, they’ll act on it even if they wouldn’t have articulated it in a survey.
Run “do/don’t” experiments. Instead of asking what customers want, give them two options in-market and see which one they actually choose.
Examples in Action
Netflix never asks viewers what they want to watch. It learns by tracking what people actually watch and recommends accordingly.
Amazon doesn’t survey whether people care about speed. It sees the conversion lift every time “Get it tomorrow” shows up.
Nike’s personalized apps don’t just ask if someone is motivated; they track runs, streaks, and engagement to design nudges that keep people active.
Each of these brands builds on what customers do so there’s no room for assumptions errors.
TL;DR
Customers don’t always tell you the truth…because they can’t…because they don’t know. The strongest brands close that gap by measuring real behavior, listening for emotional signals, and designing around what actually drives action.
Coming Up Next
Cognitive Ease: Why Simplicity Wins
We’ll look at how the brain processes effort, why complexity kills attention, and how to make your brand the easy choice.
What to Know This Week
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